*One year evaluation to follow the original message. Sometimes Facebook memories are right on time... nothing like being held accountable by your own words! **
With tears flowing like rain, I looked into my eyes and silently proclaimed...
I Am sorry for all the times I turned my back on you. I'm sorry for every time I did what others wanted me too, even though it hurt you. I Am sorry for being so mean, for relentlessly bullying you without just cause or reprieve. I would never treat another living being as horribly as I treated you, and you never deserved that. You had so much to endure in your young life, the last thing you needed was for me to add to it. More than anyone else in the world, you needed me to be there to help you through it. I Am sorry. I promise I will never abandon you again. I will be your shoulder to cry on, I will be your best friend. I will listen when you speak and be there til the end. I Am so proud of you and all you have done. I Am in awe of your courage, your strength, your determination and how you persevere regardless of the doubt and the fear. I love the way you Love. I love the way that you take your sorrow and use it to help others in need. You are wise, kind, empathic, passionate and resilient. You are one of the most beautiful human beings I know. And, your child-like eccentricity... is still my favourite part of me. I love you J and this time, I'm here to stay. No one is served when you dull your own light. Wishing you the strength to Love and honour your being. Xxx J
*If this memory had popped up even a week ago, my evaluation would have been different. I would have proudly proclaimed a 95% improvement. This last week I took a couple steps down a slippery slope that leads to lack of self compassion. I was unkind to me for the perceived crime of hoping without just cause, believing in spite of evidence suggesting my desired outcome was unlikely and setting myself up for disappointment through my expectations and optimism. Hardly crimes worthy of serious punishment. I Am a work in progress! #selflove#selfcompassion#selfworth#understanding#empathy#growthmindset#growth#iamenough#youareenough#mentalhealth#wellness
Have you ever spoken words that you’d like to take back? Words that hurt? Words that shattered? I have.
Have you ever been on the receiving side of those words? Words that you still carry with you today? Me too.
The next upcoming post in this series, Created to Belong, will talk about that experience. Simple words that haunted me for years, and kept me from feeling adequate.
I knew I wasn’t enough. I had heard it from someone I loved and respected. He had no idea the weight of that short sentence... #joinmehere