Siguiendo con este tema es importante reconocer muchas cosas.
Cuando nos convertimos en padres ninguno de los dos sabe a ciencia cierta que es lo que tiene que hacer y como actuar. -
La llegada de un bebe para una pareja significa un cambio radical en su relación y en sus vidas.
Pasan de ser dos a tener que velar por uno que depende al 100% de ellos (mas de la madre cuando es recien nacido que del padre).
Y eso, si no se afronta con paciencia y mucha calma, puede convertir un momento hermoso en uno dificil de llevar para ambos.
El hombre es menos expresivo y puede tener igual por dentro un remolino muy grande de emociones, inseguridades y sentimientos que no sabe como exteriorizar.
Las hormonas de la mujer hacen que sea extremadamente vulnerable, sensible e irritable en cuestión de segundos. Exterioriza hasta con la mirada cada emoción o sentimiento.
La clave esta en la COMUNICACIÓN.
Así que si eres madre, o si te vas a convertir en una; incluso si no, pero tienes pareja, trabaja mucho en la comunicación, pregúntate si en tu relación es un aspecto a mejorar o si te sientes bien como están. No tengas miedo de hablar, de decir lo que piensas y sientes, siempre desde el respeto y sin querer cambiar a la otra persona. -
No es de cobardes reconocer que algo esta mal; es de valientes saberlo y hacer todo para mejorar. *
There are a number of reasons why a character trait might manifest. The need to feel safe often drives the defensive structures our psyches strategically put in place to preserve ourselves. Taking away our defensive structures can lead to psychotic episodes. If you have OCD, don’t stuff it in a locker. Allow for it until you can speak with a therapist to understand more about it. Study it. Work in therapy to widen the range of available defenses to pull from. It’s not about taking away the option that is most comfortable, it’s about adding more options but by bit. #therapy#ocd#psychoanalysis#expand#more
The journey never ends! There's no destination, and I'm loving every minute of the process! Always new goals to reach and changes to be made! Never give up!
How about you? Whatever journey you're on, are you taking a minute to appreciate how far you've come? It's all about the journey. That's when you become your best self! Every positive action you take is a step in the right direction. Keep moving forward, celebrate when you reach your goals, and then set new ones!😜 Happy hump day!❤️
4 minutes ago
Righteousness is not just reserved for those who follow Christianity or Catholicism. The early Stoics believed in living a righteous life, to avoid conflict where possible, to avoid things seen as unacceptable by their society from their lives, to be, as Bill and Ted would say, excellent to each other. So how have we ended up here? As a civilisation I believe we've become lost. We've forgotten the basis of civilised behaviour. We've become disconnected due to online media and communication is usually conducted through messenger or instagram. I live my life by three rules these days. Harm no one, leave people in a better place than I found them, and deal with what is in front of me rather than worry about the future or the past. I have the say, the third is a challenge, especially as my past is so chequered with addiction and misdemeanor. But you can not affect the past or future, you can simply deal with the day at hand and make it better than yesterday. This is progress and without progress, we cannot improve our lives. Deal with today, leave yesterday where it is, in the past. Your progress today will effect your tomorrow. #skype#therapy#alcoholism#alcoholic#alcohol#drugaddiction#abstinent#abstinence#therapist#coach#beatthebooze#clean#dry#recovery#carmarthenshire#pembrokeshire#llandeilo#carmarthen#tenby#saundersfoot#llanelli#pembroke#haverfordwest#enjoyresponsibly#drinker#mentalhealth
5 minutes ago
What is choice time? Everytime you are given free time, you have a choice of what you want to do with it. What you choose to do, is what makes the difference! Sure you can lay in bed, binge watch Netflix, scroll mindlessly through social media! But you could also spend that time taking care of yourself (maybe a nap !), practicing a hobby, or actively trying to heal.
At a college meeting yesterday, I was told "You're paying for the resources and opportunities at college. You are not paying to nap." Sure a nap is needed every once in a while ! Self care is allowed ! But if you fill your spare time with activities you enjoy, clubs, education on topics you wouldn't learn about in school or at work, healing will come a little easier.
When dealing with my own bits of depression, I tended to lay in bed all day, sleep a lot, not get what I needed to done. As soon as I started calling my free time- choice time- my mood improved a ton!
Life is short so you have to make the most of what you're given!
If your spouse is a trauma survivor, and you don’t understand their pain, however it is expressed. What you most likely end up doing is confirming their deepest fears.
So, if your spouse suffered abandonment as a child, and your way of coping with distress in a relationship is to withdraw. That may leave your spouse feeling abandoned, and they may in turn, begin to pursue you desperately to ensure that you are not planning on leaving them like others did. Or they may decide to quit the marriage “before you do,” though leaving might be the furthest thing from your mind.
- [And by the way, a person could grow up in what they may consider to be a “functional family” and still feel abandoned. Maybe the parents worked all day “to provide for their children,” but in the child’s mind, they were LEFT alone and felt lonely, etc...]
So, try to be aware of your spouse’s trauma history, and be careful not to add “insult to injury.” The comfort you provide your spouse will determine how well they heal from their traumatic experience. It’s not so much the history of the trauma, but rather what happens after.
Be the reason your spouse heals♥️. #love#marriage#marriagewisdom#couples#spouses#wife#husband#vows#goals#ido#therapy#marriage&familytherapy #couplestherapy#counseling#psychotherapy
Sometimes the bad guy will win, and that is ok. 🦹♀️
I grew up absorbing Disney movies like it was my life blood. The difference between good and evil was always stark, and you could guarantee that the protagonist of the story would walk out victorious. I always saw myself as the protagonist of my own story - the good guy. And like any normal story, I have villains.
These villains take many different forms: sometimes they are people, sometimes they are thoughts and sometimes they are vices. I dedicated myself to fighting those villains, truly believing that I would beat them with enough faith, trust, and pixie dust. I learned to control vices like my compulsive shopping by staying disciplined and sticking to a clothing rental service ( @nuuly is amazing). I am still in the process of learning how to be more cognizant of my negative and pessimistic thoughts. And I worked hard to fight those human villains through communication with outside entities and leadership, believing that if I made my issues with another person clear, they would act as my Fairy Godmother and zap my issues away.
But this doesn’t always happen. And yesterday I found myself abandoning my kingdom (a job I once loved) while my villain still held the keys to the castle and went out of their way to remind me of that. They won, I lost.
But you see, I’m not sad. Sure, justice wasn’t brought to my villain, but justice was brought to myself. I made the decision to leave a place I was comfortable with because I knew I was not happy and nothing else could be done about that. Because when you are the protagonist of your own story, you need to do whatever you can to write your own happy ending. Nobody else will do it for you. And I was not about to wait in an ivory tower to be rescued.
I rescued myself by walking away and letting my villain win.
I am so excited to spend the next few weeks before I start my new position learning how to love life again, rekindling my happiness, and resparking the flame of an industry I was once so passionate about. I am taking back the pen and paper. The next chapter of my story will be mine and mine alone - and I think it will be the best one yet. 👸