1. I did not fact-check check this.
2.I will not be fact-checking this, because it is too funny, and I hope it's true.
3. If you fact-check this, and tell me it is not true, I will send you a big fat 😡 💩 face and I may even unfriend you. These are the kind of fun stories that I would like to just believe.
Don't ruin it for me.
😂 😂 😂