So I did something with the best intentions but it turned out to not be a good move. This year is a constant lesson in learning to put myself first. Whilst my ex and I left things on relatively good terms, I had to block him in the moment because I knew otherwise it would be unhealthy for me and I explained this to him. We split up mainly because of “distance” but with time and space I realised there were a lot of things fundamentally wrong in our relationship, which would have meant we would have never worked. Over the Summer, I realised that whilst I didn’t want to go back to the relationship, I still cared about him as a person and it felt weird having him blocked and never knowing what happened to him again because our lives don’t cross over in any way. Curiosity is a killer. I thought it would be a good idea to unblock yesterday and just reach out. It wasn’t, I felt good after I sent the message thinking I was mature and making amends. I felt fine the whole day. But then nighttime came and I started to feel anxious, like I had done for a lot of the relationship, and realised that having to maintain any type of contact with him at this point in my life, even sporadic, would be really stressful for me. So even though he hadn’t yet seen my first message, I sent another one saying I would have to re-block because I realised I wasn’t in the right place and did so. In conclusion, it’s ok to make mistakes, the mind is complicated but your body picks up on vibrations and you have to put what is best for you above all else. I’ve realised I’m a very black and white person and if I’ve ever had actual feelings for someone, even if I’m over them, I also find it too difficult to maintain a “friendship”. Maybe that will change but I won’t hold my breath. On another note, he probably thinks I’m on something but whatever I followed my heart in the moment 🤷🏻♀️
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand. #hope
In molti, troppi, vedranno solo una lanterna di Ikea messa semplicemente su un tavolo. Qualche piatto, posate e una candelina per un pugno di centesimi. Pochi, invece, vedranno amore e sentiranno uno strano conforto nel petto. Vedranno speranza, fiducia, premura. Io, che sono ancor più raro e di certo più folle e straniero in questo mondo, oltre a tutto quello che ho scritto sopra mi immagino una trama per un bel libro o, quanto meno, trovo ispirazione per qualcosa che non dovrebbe mai essere messa da parte: la fantasia.
What a day, gently storming the streets with my little ‘uns and 300,000 others for #climatestrike in Melbourne.
It’s not often I feel hopeful around climate issues, but seeing this many people turn out to the streets, missing school and work, braving crowds and heat (the irony of 26 degrees in the first 3 weeks of spring was not lost on us) was hope-inspiring.
My kids are activists. It’s not what I hoped for them when I first held them in my arms but god damn it felt good to hear them shouting “What do we want? Climate action! When do we want it? Now!”
Anything is possible. .