Distant yet close.
I don't know what to say, how to react, how to feel. Things started crumbling the moment when you try to push back all the odds, a new ones awaits. No matter how hard your try, it still feel less. '' More is less, but less is less, that's the point'' This really feels true now, the more you try, it still less, but since its already so less what's the point?
I really don't understand, why? Why the one you love the most, invested most of your time has to leave, matter of circumstances. Why it's really tough to hold someone. Why it's really needed to prove everyone everytime.
I wonder if this loop of more and less will ever end. The more your prove, the lesser they think it is. The lesser your worth gets, despite of your situations.
Everytime, just whenever you feel you just had it. It runs away. So far, that you can even have a sight of it. It hurts to see how this world has changed. Everything is based on logic and proving evaluations, the metrics and the comments. I wonder if this world still have the thing that used to be known as "trust''. But anyways, two people might be distant, and even get more distant but they always' find' a way to reach each their. Or atleast cross paths for once. '' We are bound to wach other,
Like the sky and the ocean
But there will always be a horizon between us"
Atleast that what I believe now., i dont know if this is also just a stupid imaginary philosophy to give hope, or if it's even been real.
Over the past several months I had the greatest happiness that has ever happened in my life. I laughed the most in many years. I cry the most in many years as well.
I have a good lover I received a very warm love. We have a very good time together. We fight sometimes. But we forgive each other It makes us love each other more and more every day. Until I didn't know what I would be like without you But I know how good that I had you!
Today we are very far away. It make us to decided end this relationship. We don't know if there is a chance to be together again or not. Don't know that we will have the opportunity to meet again or not
I tried hard to understand this reason. Until now I couldn't accept it. The suffering increases every day. Don't know how long it takes This torture will be reduced. So...
“ Jou, If you can't tolerate this suffering. You can come back to me! Cause I can't tolerate it as well. “